Strange

Sometimes
I think I got an extra dose of 'strange'
To compensate
For all the people who never use theirs

[fragment]

I want to hold you. Tight. Really really tight, your body pressed up against mine. Kiss you like it's the last time I ever will. Run my fingers through your hair. Whisper in your ear, feel your breath on my skin. Your lips on mine, your hands in my hair. A chaos of emotions and sensations.

I want curl up in your arms, forget everything around us, and just have it be you and me. Just us, just this moment.

I want to talk about nothing. And everything. And all the little things in between. Bicker, with a smile, over the things we never agree on. See that smile you give me when my reasoning goes from plausible to ridiculous. And still you persist.

I want to watch the sun go down and the dark to come creeping. I want to stay up until the sun chases it away again.

And I want you to want it too ...

In my dreams

In my dreams, you told me ... well, you didn't tell me anything. Not really. It's what you did that lingers. That's what got me stuck. That's why I'm still thinking.

That's why my head drifts off. Why I can't focus. It was such a good dream, I don't want to let it go just yet.

If I close my eyes, still, I can remember it. All of it ... well, at least all the best of it. The little things that mean nothing to everyone else, but everything to me. How it felt to lean against you. How it felt to have your arm around me. The warmth of your body, the smell of your sweater. Your chin resting on the top of my head, your stubble scratching my forehead. The sound of you breathing. And how it made me feel.

If I close my eyes, it's like I'm right there again. Happy. Content. Where I want to be.

If I close my eyes, and remember all this ... i never want to open them again.

[fragment]

So what if you're not real? So what if I can't have you? So what if all these dreams are nothing but the silly fantasies of a silly girl?

So what if my dreams are foolish? So what if I allow myself to fall too easily, and forget to watch my step? So what if everything I ever imagine never will have a root in reality?

Isn't that what imagination is? And escape from reality? A place where anything, everything can happen at any time? Where dreams come true? The impossible becomes possible?

Who says I can't imagine? That I can't escape from reality, even if it's just for a fleeting second? Who says I can't run to you, even if it's just in my dreams?

Isn't this world hard enough? Don't we struggle enough? Don't we deserve a refuge, somewhere things are as we wish?

Who decided that my ways are wrong? That my dreams are foolish? That I can't defy gravity?

Isn't life what happens to you while you're making other plans?

[blank]

Sometimes you have all the ideas in the world.

Sometimes you don't have any at all.

Lately, it's been the latter.

Maybe something

– I want you.

She had wanted to say that for so long, she's just never found the words. She would look at him, think of all the right things to say, but the second she opened her mouth they were gone. And she had wondered about it a lot, if she was reading it right. If telling him how she really felt, what she really wanted, would yield a positive result.

Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe she had mistaken friendship for something more. Maybe he would turn her down too.

Maybe that was why she had waited so long. The crulest crimes are those of the heart, as Jane Austen put it. Not that not loving someone back was a crime, but having such a suspicion confirmed would cut deeply. Sometimes, it was safer to not say. To not speak. To keep ones feelings to one self. Sometimes, it was worth giving up the possibility of reality just to nurture the fantasy. The fantasy, after all, was perfect.

But she couldn't touch him in her dreams. She couldn't run her fingers through his hair. She couldn't wake up next to him in the early morning, and watch him sleep.
She couldn't kiss him.
... well, she could. But not physically. She could only imagine. Only wonder. Until she found the words, she would never really know.

Why the words had been so hard to find, she didn't know. Because now that they had been said, they seemed so utterly simple. What more was there to say? Admittedly, there were a million things she could have said. But they would only complicate things, make it harder to say what she really meant.

I want you.

She braced herself, waiting for what always came.
The rejection.
"I'm sorry, I don't feel that way."
"You're wonderful, but ..."

But he said nothing. His eyes bore into her with a look she couldn't read. Confusion, maybe? What felt like an eternity of silence passed, only broken by the ticking clock on the wall, constantly reminding them that something had to be said.

– You want me?

He broke the silence, finally. She could still feel his eyes, burning a hole in her.

– I know it's silly, she started.
– I know the timing is way off, I know I should have said-

A finger on her lips silenced her. She dared look up for the first time, and meet his gaze.
He was smiling.

– I want you too.

The words hit her like a warm wave, washing over her. At first, she didn't believe she had heard him right. But his smile confirmed it.

– I've wanted you for so long, he breathed
– I've wanted you for so long, too
– Then what's taken us so long?
She shrugged
– I guess we're insanely stupid

He laughed, a short but hearty laugh. Slowly, he ran his hand down her cheek, touched her lips with his thumb.

And then he kissed her.

I have to say I love you in a song

You're the one that I want.

When he passes me by he's a ray of light. He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl.

You do things to me that I'm not used to. And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town. There's not much I know about you, but I love everything that you do. Given half a chance I'd easily, I could easily fall in love with you.

I wanted to talk to you but I was gripped with fear. Have you ever tried to find the words, but they just don't come out right? Words, don't come easy to me. How can I find a way, to make you see I love you? Words don't come easy. There's so much I want to say to you, so many reasons why.

Be still my heart, don't let it show. Just make believe that you don't love him so. Be quiet now, and let him go. He'll never hurt you if he never knows.

I only wanna be with you. I'm in love with a fairytale, even though it hurts. My heart's got a mind of its own, won't listen to a word I say. All I do is dream of you.

It sounds ridiculous but when you leave a room, there's a part of me that just wants to follow you too. I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime. But I'm not fine, I'm in pain, it's harder every day. If I wait for stormy skies, you wont know the rain from the tears in my eyes.

Tell me what I see, when I look in your eyes. Is that you, baby, or just a brilliant disguise


The owners

(You're the one that I want, Grease)
(He doesn't see me, Sara Brightman)
(I'm not that girl, Wickid)

(Worth it, Alexander With)
(You belong with me, Taylor Swift)
(About you, Crowtown)
(I could easily fall in love with you, Cliff Richard)

(One summer night, The Margarets)
(Have you ever, Brandy)
(Words, FR David)
(Against all ods, Westlife)

(Crowtown, Be still my heart)
(Fairytale, Alexander Rybak)
(Mind of its own, Victoria Beckham)
(All I do is dream of you, Michael Bublè)

(I only wanna be with you, Vonda Shepard)

(There's a fine fine line, Avenue Q)
(I miss you, Darren Hayes)
(Better that we break, Maroon 5)
(Crying in the rain, Everly brothers)
(Brilliant disguise, Bruce Springsteen)