[fractions of fiction]

– I've been thinking
– Yes?
– About those rules.
He leaned past me, grabbing the calender.
– One, in particular.
– And which one would that be?
– The "never get personal" one.
– What about it?
– Well, we're getting to be pretty good friends. Is that going to be a problem?
– Not for you, I smiled.
The look on his face made me kill the smile instantly.
– That was a joke.
– I know.
He gave me a small smile, but his eyes betrayed him.
– But it still answered my question.

*

I knew I had lost. In fact, I had lost the minute our eyes locked. I couldn't say 'no' to them, and consequently I couldn't say 'no' to him. The rational part of my brain was frenzied, desperate for anything that would win me the discussion. But I found nothing. Instead, I found that another small eternity had passed while I was lost in his gaze.

Probably nothing

You know
If you kissed me now
I'd probably kiss you right back

... just saying

Strange

Sometimes
I think I got an extra dose of 'strange'
To compensate
For all the people who never use theirs

[fragment]

I want to hold you. Tight. Really really tight, your body pressed up against mine. Kiss you like it's the last time I ever will. Run my fingers through your hair. Whisper in your ear, feel your breath on my skin. Your lips on mine, your hands in my hair. A chaos of emotions and sensations.

I want curl up in your arms, forget everything around us, and just have it be you and me. Just us, just this moment.

I want to talk about nothing. And everything. And all the little things in between. Bicker, with a smile, over the things we never agree on. See that smile you give me when my reasoning goes from plausible to ridiculous. And still you persist.

I want to watch the sun go down and the dark to come creeping. I want to stay up until the sun chases it away again.

And I want you to want it too ...

In my dreams

In my dreams, you told me ... well, you didn't tell me anything. Not really. It's what you did that lingers. That's what got me stuck. That's why I'm still thinking.

That's why my head drifts off. Why I can't focus. It was such a good dream, I don't want to let it go just yet.

If I close my eyes, still, I can remember it. All of it ... well, at least all the best of it. The little things that mean nothing to everyone else, but everything to me. How it felt to lean against you. How it felt to have your arm around me. The warmth of your body, the smell of your sweater. Your chin resting on the top of my head, your stubble scratching my forehead. The sound of you breathing. And how it made me feel.

If I close my eyes, it's like I'm right there again. Happy. Content. Where I want to be.

If I close my eyes, and remember all this ... i never want to open them again.

[fragment]

So what if you're not real? So what if I can't have you? So what if all these dreams are nothing but the silly fantasies of a silly girl?

So what if my dreams are foolish? So what if I allow myself to fall too easily, and forget to watch my step? So what if everything I ever imagine never will have a root in reality?

Isn't that what imagination is? And escape from reality? A place where anything, everything can happen at any time? Where dreams come true? The impossible becomes possible?

Who says I can't imagine? That I can't escape from reality, even if it's just for a fleeting second? Who says I can't run to you, even if it's just in my dreams?

Isn't this world hard enough? Don't we struggle enough? Don't we deserve a refuge, somewhere things are as we wish?

Who decided that my ways are wrong? That my dreams are foolish? That I can't defy gravity?

Isn't life what happens to you while you're making other plans?

[blank]

Sometimes you have all the ideas in the world.

Sometimes you don't have any at all.

Lately, it's been the latter.